I want be great. I wrote a journal entry about this back in September that I’ve been thinking about recently. Here’s an adapted version of what I wrote with some additional thoughts:
I remember I was in a Lyft listening to Big Red Machine thinking how exceptional the song Lyla is. It’s not that I was moved by that song. I mean it’s a good song, but it’s not like the best song ever or anything. It’s that that artist has put out such consistently great art. He is great—at least in my book.
I want to be know for being great at a craft. I think that’s a reasonable aspiration, right? I feel like iOS work doesn’t count. I just put pieces together. I’m not being that creative. I guess I want to be known for being great at creating something.
Being a great athlete or something isn’t interesting. That’ll fade. Being a great artist is a reflection of your mental ability. I want to be known for that I guess.
It’s not that I need everyone to think I’m great. It’s more that I want to prove to myself I could be great.
I feel like I’m not really that good at anything. I dabble in a lot of things but none of it is anything great. I realize I have high expectations for myself and maybe this whole thought process is unreasonable after all.
As I get older, I sometimes think that I’m running out of time to do something great. Is how I’m spending my time now, the best way I can be spending it?
I don’t really have a conclusion for this. Needs more thought.